Im very sick today so haven't done anything special. Just read a lot of blogs actually. Kind of fun. I found some I maybe will read more often.

But now I'm going to sleep and hope I will be well tomorrow, it's work and I can't miss that!

goodnight

not enough that you can't trust your own father

That's why you should not have any expectations, especially not take things for granted.
That's why it's better to be a lone wolf.
You will not be fail or betrayed, not hurt.
Be let down, is some of the most hurtful things to be acually, cause  life are build on it. trust.

Stop promise things that you are not sure that you can keep.

So we don't need to be fail, be let down,  it's just an unnecessary pain. fucking unnecessary!!!

"Sitting and sunbathing the whole day long
with an cold beer and cigarettes."

That's what I'm going to do in a hot country this summer, alone.

But what the heck, better that way? one thing for sure, my new expectation are zero and that is what count.

Can you feel it?

The weakness, I fear it.

I hear, closer it tear and maybe you see it?

Start something new but it's hard when the old grows on you

Tears streams down your cheekbone, everything is breaking is down.

When all you want is be free?

I'm not tempt at all

Fuck this shit

Always someone who let me down when all I try to do is be nice?

Just because people have tough times and maybe have an depression their friends begin to fade away. And you realize that the friends you once had, is... gone?

Why try when there is no enthusiastic at all??

You dont give a shit?

It feels like you do not want to go on this trip

Cause you know that you will realize that we are lost ?

Or you will give in to do things that you acually not want to do, cause you don't want to argue.

We both know that our friendship is "over". We have different friends, different music style, different thoughts about life and different taste about doing things and different future thoughts! everything!

We both know, even that we have known eachother for about 14 years, we are not best friends anymore. So I do not get it, when one of us says that "you are the best, I love you SO much", sure I love you, I do.

But, I love the old you. It feels like I don't know you anymore. It's time to move on?

I will always be there for you, OFC. You never forget a best friend.

But it's time to move on and stop pretend that everything is terrific when we don't get specific. I think I already have moved on a bit, but you need to relize that too. Stop pretend that it's like it use to be, cause it's not! (It will just hurt more. It hurts me alot.)

I'm not saying that we must stop talk to eachother, god NO.

But, we don't have to feel that we must meet up and talk when we really not feel for it.

But I do really miss you and the friendship we had, the times and moments we had. It's better to stop now, so the pain not grow bigger.

I think that, in maybe 5-8 years we will meet up again (ofc we will probably have contact) but in 5-8 we will meet up and then maybe we can be best friends again.

maybe I do over react, cause I am a bit irritated too but I do have some point in it.

its weird how you can feel so full of  life for just some hours ago

and then next you are so empty so you cant even cry

you just lie in your bed, starring right up in the roof

and doing nothing, feeling nothing

Please............................................
...................................

nothing to do

i want to

but cant do

i feel to

kill you

höhöhöhöhöhöhö

take me to a faraway land
where no lies, madness and reckless can understands
let me be cocaine, live in a dream, like a fairytale with no name